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 Improve Your Mood by Giving Thanks
Do you realize how much you can improve your outlook on life by simply being grateful? This is what is called an attitude of gratitude. If you cultivate an attitude of gratitude you'll actually bring even more joys into your life like a fulfilling career, pay raises, wealth, health, and stronger relationships.
An attitude of gratitude is truly a magnet for prosperity and success. After all, much of life is about your attitude and your outlook on things. It's been said that optimists may be wrong and pessimists may be right about some things, but optimists enjoy the ride. Which are you?
If you transform your attitude you can change your entire universe. And yes, you really can change in your attitude by showing appreciation a little more often.
Be Thankful for What You Do Have
Many people, maybe even the majority of us, believe their lives are boring or meaningless. Isn't that awful? Oftentimes we see little to be thankful for because we're always thinking about the things we wish they had. We may live in a comfortable home in a nice neighborhood and we may have plenty of food on the table, but we just don't see the joys in the everyday.
We often take the little things for granted. Are you one of these people? If so, it's okay! There's plenty of hope and there are plenty of things for you to be thankful for.
There are so many joys in your life right now that you're likely overlooking. For example, by reading this article you have obviously awoken for another day. Isn't the fact that you are still alive something to be thankful for? After all, a cancer survivor, sure won't take life for granted anymore!
Here's something to think about:
• Did the sun rise today? If so, be thankful for the gift of light and warmth.
• Did you have work to do today? If so, be thankful for the opportunity to earn a living for you and your family.
• Did you eat a nourishing meal today? If so, be thankful for the gift of food.
Even the smallest things in your life are reasons to celebrate! As we all know, things could be worse which is all the more reason to have an attitude of gratitude!
Lots of Gratitude = Positive Attitude
It's a fact: those who are grateful are more uplifting and positive. By having a
positive attitude, you'll not only feel better, but you'll also enjoy a vibrant physical health because our body, mind, and spirit are so heavily inter-connected. Now, that's something to be thankful for, isn't it?
As mentioned earlier, by having a positive attitude, you'll be a magnet for positive
relationships. You'll attract like-minded, go-getters who will not only inspire you, but push you further. After all, like attracts like, which is all the more reason to be positive!
Now ask yourself: What do I have to be thankful for today? Spend a few moments showing your appreciation to your loved ones, colleagues, or any random strangers you meet.
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Becoming a More Assertive Person
Many people confuse assertiveness with aggression. There isn't anything wrong or aggressive about open and honest communication when done appropriately. You're merely clarifying your needs to another person. Assertiveness is being able to express your feelings while still respecting the feelings of others.
Benefits of Assertiveness
Assertiveness is an important skill that can greatly reduce the amount of conflict in your life if used appropriately. Assertive people tend to see that their own needs are met in a timely fashion and therefore are healthier individuals with much less stress in their lives. On the opposite end of the spectrum, passive people see themselves as victims and may become resentful and angry until one day they explode.
To help you avoid piling up resentments, I've compiled some techniques you can use to become a more assertive person.
Tips to Help You Become More Assertive
# 1 : Stick with the facts
When confronting someone about a problem, instead of exaggerating the situation by saying You ALWAYS (or NEVER) ______ simply state the
facts of the current situation.For example, if a person is habitually late, instead of telling them they're always late, mention what time they arrived and what time they had agreed to be there. The discrepancy will speak for itself.
# 2 : Begin with I instead of You
When you start a confrontation with you, it seems like an attack and usually puts the other individual on the defensive. Starting with the word I brings the focus to you how their behavior has affected you and how you are feeling.
• Rather than criticize the other person, show the people in your life how
their actions affect you.
# 3 : Maintain a confident posture
Letting others see your confidence helps you to assert yourself.
• Stand up straight
• Look people in the eye
• Stay relaxed
• Speak clearly
• Respect the other individual's personal space
Think of two people: one who is slouched over and afraid to look at your face and the other who is standing tall and commanding respect. Which one would you respect?
# 4 : Use a firm pleasant tone of voice
Being assertive doesn't mean raising your voice or getting emotional. Keep your responses short and direct. There's no need to make excuses or justify your response.
• Yelling only instigates more anger and possibly even violence. Speak your mind calmly to keep everyone calm.
#5 : Don't assume that you already know the other individual's motives
You may be surprised to find they aren't the heinous person you thought they were!
• Just as you can't judge a book by its cover, you might not know all the details of what's happening in the life or mind of the other person.
#6: Listen and then ask questions
Instead of concentrating on how right you are, remember to listen to the other person's point of view.
• Try to understand where the other person is coming from and ask questions to clarify any concerns you might have.
#7: Compromise
You may need to compromise to find a solution that meets the needs
of everyone involved.
• The best solution is when both parties are satisfied with the outcome.
# 8: Evaluate
Every situation is different, so you'll need to assess the circumstances to
determine how much assertiveness is appropriate.
#9: Acknowledge your successes
Being assertive may not go well in every situation, but you can always learn from your mistakes and do something differently next time.
• Acknowledging your success brings you the confidence to continue asserting yourself.
You may occasionally feel guilt about asserting yourself because it can feel selfish to speak up about your own needs. Just remember that you, too, deserve to be treated with respect. Only you can teach people how to treat you. Only you can do the best job of taking care of you.
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 People Only Act as Best they Know How
One of the most confronting, yet liberating facets of humanity, is perception. Our ability to ‘assume’ certain things of others and situations. Through the eyes of our assumptions we can often overlook the pearl in the oyster and deny ourselves the opportunity to grow and change.
‘Assuming’ things is normal. We all make assumptions every hour of the day. It’s an absolute necessity - otherwise we would spend all of our precious time checking things. For example, I got in my car to drive to the beach this morning. I turned the key, put the car in gear, released the handbrake and drove off. I didn’t for a minute take the time to check the brake fluid or any other part of the car. I just assumed it would work. I also assumed that other drivers would follow the road rules. They would stop at red lights, pause at a give way and stay in the right hand lane. I had to make those assumptions, otherwise I would be trying to process too much information. Assumptions can be shortcuts through excessive possibilities and information. When it comes to assumptions about cars, its easy to be accurate. However, assumptions about people may get us into trouble.
We often make assumptions about people based on our experience of them, and more importantly, our interpretation of those experiences. You see, there is no such thing as an accurate recounting of an event or experience. We read into everything that happens. We notice some things, we ignore other things. From the abundance of information coming to our brain through sensory input (words and body language), we ‘think’ about assigning meaning. Our mind is a secondary filter. In this way, by the time we perceive something happening, it has already been sifted through, sorted, placed in a box and labeled.
One assumption we have as humans (especially during difficult life situations) is to believe others are not trying hard enough. Like a switch - we either assume others are doing their best, or they aren’t. That’s the shortcut. After speaking with many people however, I am convinced it’s not true. There is never really anyone that isn’t doing the best they can, with where they are, and what they know at that time. Sure people may be able to do better, but you rarely hear people say “ you know what, I’m just not trying”. The fact is, their best, is what they are doing.
Now, imagine if we forgot about assuming what ‘best’ meant and switched our thinking. If we thought people really were trying more often than not - wouldn’t it be easier to be sympathetic towards any short comings that arose during a conversation ? Could we see our partner, children, colleagues differently ? Instead of as people that have given up, are not doing the ‘right’ thing or being ignorant towards us? Absolutely! How much more empathy would you feel towards someone if your assumption was they were working on a difficult situation or relationship even though it wasn’t perfect or resolved ?.
The turning point to improving the quality of our lives is through switching our assumptions.People only act as best they know how. By softening our perceptions we experience empathy rather than defense and we allow others the room to be seen clearly. When we assume the best, we look for the best. If you want to get others to try harder – try believing they already are - and gather evidence. Assuming the best, allows the change, for better, in us.
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How to Work With Difficult People
No matter where you work or what industry you happen to work in, there's a good chance you'll meet someone you can't stand working with. It's unfortunate, but true.
Maybe it's as simple as getting a cubicle mate who is loud or overbearing or maybe it means dealing with someone who never gets things done on time. The truth is we're not always going to be friendly with the people we work with. However, it doesn't mean we can't do anything to deal with the negative environment.
Take some time to follow these tips for dealing with difficult co-workers. Once you begin implementing them you'll find that it does get a bit easier to work with difficult people.
Tip #1 - Remember : You're NOT the Boss
If you don't have authority over the other person, you're going to look very unprofessional if you start telling them how to do their job. If your coworker is lazy or does a poor job and you're tempted to correct their mistakes, don't expect to be thanked for it. And don't be surprised if they're stubborn about your good-natured advice either.
• Lead by example and focus on doing your own work successfully.
Tip #2 - Avoid Communication through Email
When dealing with someone who's difficult, try making it a priority to handle things on the phone or face to face. If you're concerned about coming across well, remember emails can come across as sounding very blunt and brusque.
• If you must communicate via email, try reading your emails out loud before
sending. Without tone or facial expression to help you out, you may come off as being angry or upset, even when you don't intend to. Though you might love nothing more than to avoid the person, make sure poor or misinterpreted communication doesn't compound your issues.
Tip #3 - Avoid Gossip
When someone at work is difficult, it seems natural to gossip about him or her, but don't do it. If you must vent your frustrations or get another opinion, wait until you get home.
• Avoid office drama by not participating in gossip. Not only do many offices have strict policies about gossip, you never know who might be listening. Be friendly and make sure you always take the moral high road.
Tip #4 - Let Go of Your Anger
When you're dealing with a difficult person, it's easy to get angry. You think of the time they have wasted, the things they have done, and before you know it, you might have your teeth clenched!
• Remember anger is an energy drain. The more time you spend being angry, the less time you have to spend on important things.
• Take time to release your anger and turn it towards more productive things. Don't let your annoying coworker eat up any more of your time than they already have.
Tip # 5 - Keep a List
If your coworker's problems start to affect your work performance, start keeping a list of all the problems that arise. It can help you establish a paper trail should it be necessary later.
• Keep a list, date it, and if necessary, show it to your boss in a formal complaint. Doing this will give you evidence in the event that your coworker disputes your complaint.
We all have coworkers whom we'd rather not work with. Unfortunately, we don't tend to have any control over who works with us. Instead of wasting your time and energy stressing over those annoying people in your life, just get the job done while keeping problems to a minimum. Focusing on your own job, along with carrying out the actions mentioned above, will save you your sanity in the long run!
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Overcome Failure to Become Stronger than Ever 
A few years back, Disney released an animated movie called Meet the Robinsons that had such a deep impact and meaning. The point of the story is to celebrate each failure you have because it gives you the opportunity to try again.
Most people make the mistake in thinking that, just because they failed at something, they should just move on. Or, if they failed it meant they were never meant to succeed at it. Wrong, wrong, wrong!
When you're trying to accomplish something, failure is actually the best thing that can happen to you. Seriously! Do you think the light bulb was invented the first time around? No! In fact, Thomas Edison took thousands of tries to get it just right! What about the first wheel or the telephone? Of course it takes multiple tries by multiple people to reach success, but the key point to remember is that you have to fail in order to know that you've succeeded.
Real Life Examples of Failure
• Think of a toddler learning how to walk. Although they give a fair share of tantrums during the learning stages, they pull themselves up after each fall and try to walk again. Instinctively they're teaching themselves how to perfect the movement all based on their past mistakes or failures. It's a trial and error process!
• People struggling with weight loss often feel like failures when they gain weight while dieting. Keeping a weight loss journal can help them track their progress and learn to recognize what triggers them to fail. Perhaps there are emotional or physical triggers that can be prevented. Learning from these mistakes will teach them how to combat those same problems in the future.
There is another benefit to failing: failure opens doors that will allow you to find out what you're really destined to do. This happens at university all the time.
How You Found Yourself Through Experience
Certainly you know at least one person who went to university with the intent of getting one degree and as they went through their course work, having their successes and failures, they discovered a new career interest and changed their major.
Think of a student who went to uni to become a nurse but soon realized what they really enjoy teaching. The whole reason they were going into nursing was to help educate people to improve their lives and they found the best way to do that is not as a nurse, but as a teacher. There's nothing wrong with that!
As long as you're able to learn from your mistakes, then they're not mistakes at all they are opportunities for success! There's always something to learn from each and every situation and once you understand the lesson, it will make you a better person.
Become Stronger and Wiser
Failure makes you a stronger person. Imagine what it would be like if everything you did always went your way. Imagine that you were successful at everything you attempted your whole life and then one day it happened... you failed! You failed so badly that it caused you to lose everything. How in the world would you deal with that failure if you've never had to overcome an obstacle before?
Failing allows you to become more resilient so you can always figure out a way to move forward. The first wheel may have been square and it moved, but it was wobbly and eventually fell over, but the inventors never gave up! They began to figure out how to make it rounder so it would roll smoothly. You can do the same in your life! You can't give up, you have to pick yourself up and figure out a way to roll forward, stronger than ever!
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How to Make a Great First Impression
Face the facts: about 90% of the people you're going to meet at work or in a social environment are going to have a preconceived notion of what type of person you are. We as humans tend to stereotype and judge people based on what they're wearing, who they're around, or what they do for a living before we ever talk to them.This isn't fair and we all remember the adage, Don't judge a book by its cover, but it's a hard truth.
Attracting like-minded people into your world means being honest with yourself as well as with those you're meeting for the first time. If you're scared of heights, don't pretend that you've gone rock climbing. Just be honest! After all, your deceit will surely be uncovered and any trust you've built up goes straight out the window.
Tips for a Great First Impression
To help make sure you're always putting your best foot forward in any situation, here are a few tips to follow:
1. When you're meeting someone new, act as if you're simply meeting up with a good friend. You're more likely to be who you really are if you look at a new person as if they're someone you're already comfortable with. There's no advantage in trying to impress someone by being anyone other than yourself.
2. Avoid correcting people's mistakes when in a casual conversation. Helping a coworker avoid a big mistake on a project at work is admirable but don't become the office know-it-all during your lunch hour.
3. Make sure that your body language is open and welcoming. Avoid crossing your legs or arms. Stand with your body facing the person with whom you're speaking. Make eye contact with them, but don't stare at them. Open body language makes you appear friendly and more people will want to talk to you.
4. Stand up straight. You don't need to stand as if you have a wrought iron pole in your spine, but don't slouch. Good posture always provides a much better first
impression than slouching over like you're trying to hide from the world.
5. Keep a positive attitude and outlook. Being pessimistic or the voice of doom and gloom will repel people away from you rather than attract them; however, you don't want to be overly positive, which could give people the impression that you're unrealistic or living in a fantasy world.
6. Focus on the people around you and not what's going on in your head. Be interested in what people are saying and doing around you to avoid appearing
egotistical or self-centered. If you are in a networking event imagine that you are the host of the meeting and make the effort to introduce others and to be attentive to the needs of your ‘guests’.
7. Smile.
We are automatically attracted to people who smile. Using your full smile is an asset to breaking the ice and to making a great first impression. It’s been scientifically proven that when one person smiles other person will ‘catch’ their happy energy and smile back. So keep a grin on your dial !
The bottom line to making a good first impression is to relax and be yourself. You may not be able to win over the world, but you'll certainly be able to attract like-minded people.
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 How to Be a Leader at Work
What can you do to do to be heard, respected, and well liked?
It may be true that some people are born leaders. There's something about them that makes people want to follow them their charm or charisma but you can learn how to be an effective leader!
Whether you're a natural born leader or not, there are a number of behaviors you can practice and use to become a leader that will make people want to listen to you, respect you, and like you.
We all need leaders to guide, inspire, and encourage us. A good leader can leave us feeling inspired and uplifted. But how can you become a positive leader ?
Simply put, leaders help their employees feel good about themselves.
• Leaders ensure that staff feels appreciated for the hard work they do day in and day out. You can do this by getting actively involved with your colleagues. After all, it's difficult for you to make someone feel good about themselves if you have no idea what exactly they do, so pay attention!
• You also need to learn how to communicate effectively with others. Let others know that they can freely voice their opinions and ideas to you. If you actively listen to each and every person, they'll all feel like valuable players on your team.
• Be professional, but be personable. When you're introducing employees to visitors or senior managers, always introduce them by their first name. Refer to them as your team members, colleagues, or associates. Never ever refer to them as your subordinates or by their job titles.
Leadership Involves Being A Positive Role Model
Good leaders do more then talk the talk; they actually walk the walk. By setting a good example and understanding the needs and pressures of the team, a leader
can help others see the big picture and help them understand why their roles are so important to the team's success.
Here are a couple ways to lead by example:
• If you're trying to get your employees to be more involved in their jobs and help others when they need it, what are you doing to set a good example? Good leaders roll up their sleeves and get down to business with the people that are working for them.
• Good leaders fight for the rights of their team at all levels. If you show your
team how much you respect their needs, you'll gain their respect, too. For example, if a pay raise is stalled, actively investigate why it's stalled and keep your team updated.
Taking a Individual Approach
To be a good leader you also need to understand that different people are motivated in different ways. People naturally like to see a positive outcome for the work they do and the key is to find out what motivates the people you work with.
Is the motivation to get a pay increase? Is it recognition for a job well done? Or is it being named employee of the month?
Motivation can be very individualized.Take the time to get to know the people working with you so you can figure out the best way to motivate them.
Even if you own a small business and can't afford expensive employee rewards, sometimes a nice dinner or a thoughtful gift is enough to show your employees your appreciation.
Good leaders know that each person is essential to the success of the team as a whole. Don't take the people working for you for granted. Remember that getting the respect you desire first starts with respecting others.
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10 Strategies to Put More Hours Into Your Day
In this day and age, we all just seem to get busier and busier. How many times have you said to yourself, I wish there were more hours in the day? Is there some magic formula that can help you get more done each day? No, of course not! But there are specific things you can do that will help you become more organized and efficient. In return, you'll get more time to do the things you always wish you had time for.
Not everyone has the natural ability to get organized and, for some of us, it takes a serious amount of effort and a lot of trial and error to develop organizational skills. If you're one of those who weren't born with the instinctive sense of organization and time management, here are some tips to help you find more time in your day. If one doesn't work, simply try another until you find the ones that fit best with your personality and lifestyle.
# 1 : Plan & Schedule Your Day
This seems rather simple, but seeing everything on paper can help you feel in control. Instead of letting an entire day get away from you and feeling like you've accomplished nothing, planning will put some order and structure into your day.
• Use a family calendar or personal planner to organize your errands and appointments.
# 2 : Write a Daily To-Do List
Put the most important tasks at the top of your list and get them done first, that way there's no last minute rushing around. The majority of your time and energy should be spent on accomplishing these important tasks.
• Keep your lists a reasonable length so you'll feel productive crossing off completed tasks.
# 3 : Don't Waste Time on Nonessential Tasks
As humans, our tendency is to do the easy jobs first, but these quick and simple jobs may
not be as necessary as you once thought. Before setting your mind to do something, ask
yourself Will this help me reach my ultimate goals or will it keep me from them?
• Cut down your time on unimportant tasks and use those minutes to do something fun for yourself.
# 4 : Delegate Tasks
Delegation isn't about passing the buck, it's realizing that you can't do everything by yourself. There is nothing wrong with asking for help when you need it.
• Delegate chores to your family or hire professionals.
# 5 : Break Large Tasks Down into Smaller Jobs
This will prevent you from getting overwhelmed. Just focus on each small job, one at a time, instead of trying to paint the whole canvas at once.
• Need to reorganize your kitchen or basement? Start in one little corner and focus your attention there until it's clean and organized.
# 6 : Limit Distractions
I know this can be hard, but if at all possible turn off the phone and close your email program. Simply focus on the task at hand without constant interruptions.
• Schedule your most important tasks at a time that offers the fewest disruptions.
# 7: Live a Healthy Lifestyle
This may seem out of place in this list, but studies show that people who eat right, exercise and get plenty of sleep have more energy to accomplish more during the day. The quality of your work will also improve when you feel healthy.
• You don't need to start a strict training regimen to regain your energy. You'll see changes quickly by just making simple dietary changes and walking everyday.
# 8 : Take 10min Breaks as much as you can
When you start to feel too stressed out, get up and take a little walk or do some stretches. When you're stressed about something your energy isn't being used on productive work. Instead you become scattered and un-focused.
• A well-timed break can actually help you do more in a shorter amount of time.
#9 : Keep a diary of how you spend your time for several days.
By simply writing down how you spend the minutes in your day, you can re-evaluate the way you do things. Maybe there's a way you can cut some minutes here and there to allow more flexibility in your schedule.
• Effective time management is a key principle to a less stressful life.
#10 : Preplan your holidays
Not only is it important to take breaks during the day but another essential step is to take longer periods off from work and have ‘quality’ rest. Quality rest is not just five minutes of distraction it is a period of at least 5-7 days off from work and life pressures. It involves not keeping in touch with your emails or phone and having very little to do but sleep, read a trashy book or be in an environment that is completely different to your normal day. Both the period before you go on holidays and straight after are incredibly productive times – the first because you know you have a deadline to keep and you are looking forward to the break, the second because you are fresh and ready to see with new eyes when you return.
• Schedule well in advance when you will take holidays in the next 12 months and lock them in.
Making some simple changes in the way you manage your time can have a huge impact on your overall well-being. So go get started!
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3 Keys to Surviving Hard Times
You would have to be living in a bubble is you haven’t heard the terrible news – we’re about to head into a world recession like none other. Yes it’s very distressing – it’s all the media wants to talk about. But let's face the facts: life is full of both good and bad surprises. Recession or not - you can't live your life worried about bad news and possible future economic repercussions, otherwise you'll paralyze yourself in fear. Instead, you need to become more resilient and learn how to expect the unexpected. It’s those individuals and companies that embrace the unknown and prepare themselves mentally for dealing with uncertainty that will prosper in the future, regardless of economic conditions.
Let’s look then at how you can learn to cope with unexpected news and become a stronger, more confident person in times of pressure.
Step # 1: Expect the Unexpected
Have you ever gotten a call from a friend who cancels a get-together you were looking forward to? This is an extremely trivial example of unexpected news, but it represents what we all deal with on a daily basis. You may feel disappointed or frustrated, especially if you spent time preparing for the event, but you have two choices: move on and make the best of the day, or allow it to sour
your mood and hold you back. Ask yourself: what do you typically do when you encounter the unexpected ?
Well, instead of allowing the change of plans to ruin your day, try to get your mind busy onto something else. Is there a fun activity that you can do at home? Is there something you can do for yourself or your family? You can make the best of things by turning the unexpected into a new opportunity.
Step # 2 :Build a Solid Support System
Another way to deal with unexpected news is to turn to your support system. Bad news can come with great pain. If you get the news that someone has passed away, for example, this is something that is going to cause you deep pain and suffering. Of course, it's normal to feel these very real emotions.
In these times it is important for you to turn to those around you for support. You may need someone to talk to, someone to cry with, or even a helping hand. It's crucial that surround yourself with positive influences instead of isolating yourself.
Step #3 : Use Mind Power to Cope with Bad News
Reframing is a method that performance coaches use frequently to turn around a negative thought. For example, a golfer may be thinking the worst when they say to themselves “I’m probably going to miss this putt because I’m too far from the hole”. A neutral or even positive thought would be more like “I’m about to see how much my long-putting game has improved when I sink this ball “. By shifting the meaning we place on things we change perspective and this changes our focus. What we focus on is what we get, so always train your thoughts to be optimistic.
Positive affirmations are another way that you can reinforce positive focus when confronted with unexpected news. Affirmations are concise statements that you can use to help you think in a more positive manner. When bad news is overwhelming you and you don't know how to cope, you can stop and say:
• In times of crisis, I am safe because I have a well thought out recovery plan
waiting to be launched.
• I challenge myself to be calm in order to release daily pressures.
When you say these phrases aloud as you fall to sleep and as you are waking up, you're reaffirming the statement in your subconscious mind and you're re-focusing your energy on solutions, instead of worries. Whether you believe it or not, words have power. Repeating these affirmations may console you and remind you about your strength during difficult situations.
When you use positive affirmations, reframing and the other coping techniques mentioned, you will find that you are more confident to deal with whatever life throws your way. Remember, it's okay to be afraid of uncertainty, but you can equip yourself with the tools, techniques, and support system to overcome any obstacle, challenge, or situation.
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